I know the only way to change that, is practice.
All of life seems to be a practice!
But this blog has also opened my mind for the possibility of more, more what exactly is the question that comes next to my mind.
Well, for years now, I've had various sources telling me to "tell my story".
These sources have been teachers, lovers, friends, people in my online community (and mine is so vast I'm almost afraid to admit the extent of it), writers who have actually been published, counselors, and even a man I met once on a blind date.
So, I'm trying to figure out if this is the medium in which to "tell my story".
For now, I'm going to just keep writing. Knowing that probably only myself and maybe 2 or 3 other people are reading this thing.
My new class starts tomorrow, NUR304, and I'm really looking forward to it.
Work is stressful as ever but that's Ok.
I'm finding myself changing my thinking.
I'm realizing I was being more judgmental than I was being compassionate.
A light bulb went off and I was like "wow, no wonder my life is at such a standstill!".
I'm finding my way again. Slowly. Surely. Softly.
Starting with myself and my connection to my heart, to my dreams, my goals, my aspirations.
I sometimes want so much for the world to be a peaceful place, and for the people in the world to be at peace, that I send out my wishes and extend all my energy to help others.
And that just totally drains me cause I've not yet learned how to take care of myself first.
But hey...I'm catching on! Yes, time to take care of me for now.
So that's my goal right now. Take care of me. As a priority. Like as in the most important part of my everyday life. I've really only done it one other time in my life. And the results were amazing.
So let's just see how I do.
I've already stocked the frig with fresh real foods.
I've already got my alarm clock set.
I've got a list on my bathroom mirror of things that are important to me
(things like ---journal 3 things you are grateful for
eat an apple with peanut butter on it
meditate for 10 minutes
walk outside in the cold air for 20 min
say a prayer right before bedtime
write and mail an actual letter to an old friend
look in the mirror and say 5 positive things)
It's OK if I don't hit every bullet point every day, it's OK if I hit only one, or maybe even two.
But I think it is important I change my tune.
So here I go, tomorrow it all starts!
Until tomorrow...here is a photo I took today while out on rounds providing nursing care to the good folks who needed a nurse.......
This is a portion of the Mighty Hudson River near Warrensburg, NY
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