The Mighty Hudson in January

Oh, I almost forgot to post this!
I admit, I love the Hudson River.
She is majestic, winding it's way 300 miles from Lake Tear of the Clouds in the Adirondacks, joining forces with the Mohawk River, and flowing into the Atlantic Ocean at New York Bay.
I take a photo from this very same spot multiple times throughout the year. When spring comes, I look forward to dipping my toes into the freezing water, just for a taste and reminder of the serenity I feel when I will jump all the way in sometime in July.
And it reminds me every single time I encounter this river, whether I'm just photographing the iced jams or I'm gingerly putting a toe or two in, or I'm flipping out of my inner tube to fully submerge myself, it reminds me of this saying by some Greek dude ""No man ever steps in the same river twice". Love love love that saying. 
No, it's not the most jaw dropping view, but it's easily accessible and I pass it frequently while working.
Enjoy this photo, I'll post another one in a few months.

Elderberry Syrup

It's January 28th, 2013.
So it seems like everyone has a touch of some sort of illness right now doesn't it?
Unless you are living under a rock, (which sounds good to me right now), you are bound to run into people that are sneezing, coughing, vomiting, and all sorts of other expelling from orifices.
Remember, I'm a nurse, so this is the kind of talk I have while eating lunch.
Admittedly, I'm currently one of the sneezy people. That's not necessarily unusual for me. I'm prone to allergies, which frequently lead to the minor irritations of sneezing 22 times every morning while trying to get ready to go to work, and red eyes and nose, to the more serious and problematic issues such as sinus infections and respiratory infections.
In any case, my sneeziness usually takes a break in the winter, and goes into high gear in the Spring and Fall, my two favorite seasons which tie with Summer as my favorite. So yeah, basically, usually, my sneezy nose usually gives me a break in the one and only season that I don't really enjoy. Which also happens to be the longest season of them all here at the base of Adirondacks where I live, cause winter here can usually last about 8 months, leaving only four months for the other three seasons. But I find myself sneezing all the time right now, and I'm worried it's going to develop into some kind of illness.
So, I've been using my Neti Pot, and I promise to someday write about a blog about the joy and happiness a lukewarm sinus bath with a Neti Pot can invoke.
But still, I'm sneezing. Every morning. Sometimes I try to wait it out, but then, just as I'm about to apply my mascara I start my sneezing. Practically causing me to poke my eye out with that wand of emerald black which promises to never clump or dry out which is a big lie. And poking out my eye would be even worse than a sinus or respiratory infection. Unless of course you are like a relative of mine. Who once sought treatment in an emergency room due to injuring her eye with a wand of mascara. The handsome, funny, delightful ER doc eventually proposed to her. Of course, they did not marry. Don't be silly, she was not really THAT serious, but he was enough of a gentleman to let her keep the rock. She then went on to poke herself in the eye a few more times, going to different hospitals for treatments, but I don't think she ever got that lucky again. Ok, maybe I'm exaggerating. But I doubt it.
Back to my blog.
So, because I think I may be on the verge of actually getting ill, I decided to finally make some of that Elderberry Syrup. I bought the dried elderberries from Lise Fuller of Adirondack Herbals.
Now, you may be wondering, what in the world is an elderberry? Whatever you do, don't read what it says on widipedia. Instead allow me to tell you what I know, which is not much.
Elderberries grow in clusters on flowering bushes. The berries can be many colors, but you don't want to use the red ones, they can be poisonous. Of course, the elderberry bush has some Latin name but since I'm not a horticulturist, I'm just gonna tell you that the name for this bush during the Middle Ages was the "the witches tree". I'm sure you can see why that appeals to me.
So the berries of this bush have long been used for medicinal purposes, and of course wine.
My berries got placed in a trusty saucepan this evening.

Now, I am making a double batch, because a coworker/friend also has a touch of something that she just can't shake, so I'm making a batch for her, and well, I haven't asked if I could use her name in this blog, in fact, I'm not even sure she knows about this blog, so since I don't have her permission to use her name, we will just call her Shannon Houlihan.
So, that is 2 tablespoons of dried elderberries in that pan and to that I added 4 cups of water.
I then covered it, let it come to a boil, then lowered the heat and simmered for 20 minutes, still covered.

When that was done, I uncovered the pan, and let the liquid reduce by half.

 Then I drained the berries.

Then I added the honey. Local stuff. Not that stuff that comes in the plastic thing shaped like a cute cub bear. This honey comes from Lupo Apiary in Hudson Falls NY, I was unable to find a website for them.

I stirred and stirred. Then jarred it up. I've recently developed a worrisome habit of saving just about any glass jar I come across. So, here is a jar for me, and one for the coworker/friend we are calling Shannon Houlihan.

Directions for preparation did not indicate a recommended dosage, but I'm thinking one teaspoon twice a day will be sufficient. Ok, maybe 2 teaspoons. My batch is not too bitter at all. Tastes rather earthy to me. Of course, somewhat impossible to test the results of intake, if I don't get sick, maybe I just wasn't going to get sick to begin with?

Rusty

Starting this blog has caused me to notice I'm rusty with my writing skills.
I know the only way to change that, is practice.
All of life seems to be a practice!
But this blog has also opened my mind for the possibility of more, more what exactly is the question that comes next to my mind.
Well, for years now, I've had various sources telling me to "tell my story".
These sources have been teachers, lovers, friends, people in my online community (and mine is so vast I'm almost afraid to admit the extent of it), writers who have actually been published, counselors, and even a man I met once on a blind date.
So, I'm trying to figure out if this is the medium in which to "tell my story".
For now, I'm going to just keep writing. Knowing that probably only myself and maybe 2 or 3 other people are reading this thing.
My new class starts tomorrow, NUR304, and I'm really looking forward to it.
Work is stressful as ever but that's Ok.
I'm finding myself changing my thinking.
I'm realizing I was being more judgmental than I was being compassionate.
A light bulb went off and I was like "wow, no wonder my life is at such a standstill!".
I'm finding my way again. Slowly. Surely. Softly.
Starting with myself and my connection to my heart, to my dreams, my goals, my aspirations.
I sometimes want so much for the world to be a peaceful place, and for the people in the world to be at peace, that I send out my wishes and extend all my energy to help others.
And that just totally drains me cause I've not yet learned how to take care of myself first.
But hey...I'm catching on! Yes, time to take care of me for now.
So that's my goal right now. Take care of me. As a priority. Like as in the most important part of my everyday life. I've really only done it one other time in my life. And the results were amazing.
So let's just see how I do.
I've already stocked the frig with fresh real foods.
I've already got my alarm clock set.
I've got a list on my bathroom mirror of things that are important to me
(things like ---journal 3 things you are grateful for
                       eat an apple with peanut butter on it
                       meditate for 10 minutes
                       walk outside in the cold air for 20 min
                       say a prayer right before bedtime
                       write and mail an actual letter to an old friend
                       look in the mirror and say 5 positive things)
It's OK if I don't hit every bullet point every day, it's OK if I hit only one, or maybe even two.
But I think it is important I change my tune.
So here I go, tomorrow it all starts!
Until tomorrow...here is a photo I took today while out on rounds providing nursing care to the good folks who needed a nurse.......
This is a portion of the Mighty Hudson River near Warrensburg, NY

I'm gonna serve myself a piece of peace.

So last night I went to a gathering, organized via facbook, that was to be a bit of a tribute to Martin Luther King, (it was his day yesterday), and participants were asked to bring a thought or item that brought them peace. I was seriously hoping that everyone who had checked that they would be attending would actually attend, because I really wanted to just be an observer, and I was hoping that enough people would be there to talk and share and I could just soak it all in. But the snow was flying, making the roads treacherous so the group was small. I really couldn't find an item to bring with me that brought me peace, nor could I narrow down just one thing that I felt provided me with peace. So I just thought it would be good to be in the presence of others with the mindset that peace begins with oneself, and I wanted to hear their stories.
Interesting that when I was asked directly how I find peace, and the first thing that came to mind and out of my mouth, was being alone. Someone asked if it was different than loneliness, and we discussed that it's possible to feel alone even while among a huge group of people. Which to me is probably one of the worst feelings ever. Been there done that. I shared that I don't really ever feel lonely. At least not in the traditional sense, but I didn't go on to discuss my theories of why I don't get lonely, and maybe I will in the course of this blog post, but maybe not.
I explained why I liked being alone. One of the reasons is because my job as home care nurse is one of those emotionally draining jobs. It just goes with the territory. I explained that I'm also a Reiki Practitioner, I can and do often feel other people's energies, and I get antsy and uneasy with the vibes some people give off. Whether it's at work (at a patient's home, in the office, at the grocery store, or while eating lunch in a local restaurant).
I thought I explained myself rather well at the group, but the next morning while showering I realized that my sense of peace when being alone is a total cop out!
Of course it's easy to find peace when all alone! There is nothing to distract from my own good heart, my own good intentions, my own seeds of hope!
And to prove that I do understand the concept of peace, I offer these photos, taken in my living room, (and no, I'm obviously not a professional photographer)

I've been accused at work of being "Miss Mary Sunshine", even though my name is not Mary nor do I wear the color of the sun, yellow, ever. Of course the person calling me that was not always complimenting me I don't think. But I just refuse to get bothered by little stuff. Especially much of my own little stuff. Ya know what I mean right? Like I could walk around all the time just listening to the negative tape recorded messages in my mind. But I've changed that. Oh, it's still there inside me, but I've changed my way of thinking. I also have this other tape in my mind. It's the good one. It's the one I found after my last divorce. The one I found when I realized I not only had very little self esteem, but I was like in the negative zone of self esteem! 

If you don't know me, you don't know the story, and so I'll tell it to you in a very condensed form. I was unhappily married for a long time. Now, if you are a person who believes that divorce is a sin, I'm suggesting you stop reading right now. What's a sin in my mind is not living up to our potential. Being miserable and making someone else miserable. I also believe it's possible to have more than one soul mate in this lifetime. But that's a whole 'nother blog. 

Let me get back to my story. So, there I was, all unhappily married. In my early 40's, recently graduated from nursing school and practicing nursing at the local hospital. A yoga studio had recently opened, by one of my high school classmates and her daughter. I started going to yoga classes. Not easy those yoga classes when one has spent most of her life trying to attain and maintain physical fitness through step aerobics and lifting weights. 

I had only been to one or two classes when during the beginning of shavasana, the instructor guided us to take a deep inhale, while thinking "I am", and then she said to exhale, and before she could say the next part of the mantra, my mind said "fat and ugly", so when she said "Peace", I started to cry. I cried because I wondered to myself how and why did I get to a place in life that had me thinking I was fat and ugly instead of realizing the beautiful creature of light and energy that I am?

 Now, I'm not blaming my feelings and thoughts on anyone other than myself, it wasn't my spouse's fault I felt that way, it wasn't the unhappy marriage that had me thinking that way. I've had many years to contemplate this, I've read all the books, I've attended seminars and weekend retreats, I've been to counseling, I've done it all and I probably will continue to do all that.

I'm much more of the mindset to accept sole responsibility for my own thoughts than to give that power to anyone else, or to place blame on someone else. I'm not saying that some things don't tie in together, I'm just saying life and the pursuit of peace within one's heart and mind is much easier if one at least starts by owning up to what is in their head and hearts. At least that's how it worked for me.

So what I did was to start to change that tape recording in my head. I would purposefully and willfully notice those negative thoughts and self talk, and very deliberately I started to incorporate different thoughts. Over and over and over. To the point to that I would feel it and believe it, if only for a second, which would turn into a minute, and then the minutes would come together. And if I didn't really feel it, I pretended I did. I often give people the advice to fake it till you make it. It works. For oh so many things! What also works is making each moment be what you want it to be. It does not matter what happened 17 minutes ago. Right now is a beautiful moment. Right now I have everything I need. My breath. My body. My compassion. A roof over my head. Shoes on my feet. Right now the Universe wants me to be happy. Right now I am happy. 

I think I've come away from my sense of peace a bit, and I'm ready to get back to it.

I AM PEACE. 

So, it's been about 4 hours since my first blog entry.
In case you are wondering, I am listening to Randy Crawford's version of "Knocking on Heavens Door" via Spotify.
And I just want to say that my day took such a marvelous turn after my first blog. Now, I don't really attribute the transformation to the fact that I started a new blog.
But rather, to something I mentioned in my first blog post.
Let me tell you, in case you are wondering, what kind of magic happens during a detox yoga class. At least a detox yoga class at the studio I attend to practice which can be found here, @ The Lemon Tree Yoga and Healing Arts Studio Or at least I'll tell you what happens to me.
First, you arrive 15 mins early. You pick your spot and lay your mat down. You say hello to your mat, you haven't seen it since last time you practiced, and you missed it. You sit. You start to get comfy. It's like 15* outside and about 80* in here. You leave your sweater and socks on. The smell of incense is comforting. You get up to get everything you may need, a strap, a block, an extra blanket, offering a hello and some small talk to fellow yogis on this cold Sunday morning.You take off your socks. You sit. You fix your yoga mat cause you realize you are crooked by a few centimeters. You sit. You close your eyes. You automatically take a deep inhale and a letting-it-all-go-exhale. You realize that wow, you are/were all wound up and you need to chill. You move a bit and get comfy again, saying 'thank you yoga mat'. Then counting all sorts of things you are grateful for. Wow. My legs. My car. This yoga studio. My job. My breath. The sun. The cold air outside. You realize you are still all wound up. You lie down on your mat. You pretend you are part of the Earth. You feel the sun shining in the windows on your body. You breathe. So hum.So hum. So hum. You get lost for a while, your body and mind seems to remember why you are here. You sit up. You offer up some prayers, the same prayers you offer up before every yoga session.
Class starts. The detox starts with a drink of lemon water with a pinch of cayenne. It feels warm. Some breathing exercises. Some beginning postures. Off comes the sweater. And for the next while, you get lost in the practice. Sometimes choosing to go further than usual in some poses, tottering, falling over and down. You sweat. Sometimes you do the most basic form of pose, and just concentrate on the breath and the form. You sweat. You remember that's why you came here today. You wonder why that's important to you. You realize at the end of one pose that the whole class did a completely different pose than you did and you wonder why they are facing the windows when you are facing the wall? You realize it doesn't matter. You giggle to yourself. Class winds down with some more breath exercises, more meditation. Shavasana, blessed shavasana. Namaste. The instructor suggests a fast the rest of the day, something you already planned on, having some fresh hydrating fruit waiting at home, pineapple and honeydew, lemons for water. The instructor mentions that sometimes if we give our digestive system a rest, it leaves our body able to accomplish other things. She suggests rest.
You get home. A bit lost. One reality, of yoga practice, and the reality of home such a stark contrast. You realize home is not peaceful. You realize you are still all wound up. You check email, facebook, and start a blog. You take a walk. You come back home and right away, you go about making home more peaceful. Something you have been trying to do for weeks now.
The pile of mail gets sorted. The frig gets cleaned. So does the freezer. Suddenly, it's a slow steady top to bottom organization going on. Drawers that haven't been opened in months, get emptied onto a table, with many items being placed in the garbage. Oh, and that closet, yeah, that closet gets a quick little cleaning too. Mirrors get washed. Every surface gets dusted. Hours pass and suddenly you are dancing to the music on the radio, feeling like you are exactly where you are supposed to be and doing exactly what you are supposed to be doing and everything that has occurred thus far in life was absolutely the right thing, even though it may have felt a burden, a joy, or a sorrow at the time. The vacuum not only makes the rounds of the floors, walls and corners, but it gets cleaned too.
You sit down to check email, facebook. You come across this on your newsfeed--
"Cultivate rest and play. Let go of exhaustion as a status symbol and productivity as self-worth." Brené Brown"
You realize you didn't do that after your detox. But you realize the peace you feel is the next best thing. And that you can rest tonight. Or starting now. Or tomorrow. And you wonder why time is still such a relevant and meaningful thing, even though you have eliminated wearing a watch or having a clock in your home other than on your phone and computer. And you realize it doesn't matter. It is what it is. And what it is right now is good. 
Om Shanti. 

About Me

So, yeah, I've tried blogging before. I should probably go through cyberspace and find my older blogs under various alias names, and delete them. And I will. Later. For now, I'm gonna start this blog off while I have some momentum going. I had no intention of starting a new blog today. It just kinda happened, and sometimes it's a good idea to go with the flow. Last week, I talked a coworker into starting a blog, and she did, it's always a good read (you can find her  @ http://www.modernmommayhem.blogspot.com/ ), so maybe this blog thing has just been there in the back of my mind since then?
Let me introduce myself. I'm one of those typical transplants from downstate, Brooklyn to be exact. My parents moved us up North when I was 6 yrs old. To Schroon Lake to be exact. Culture shock to a 6 yr old, not to mention my poor mother! She was used to putting the appropriate person into the baby buggy daily, (I've 3 sisters, so the buggy was in her life for quite a while) walking the local neighborhood to get meat from the butcher, bread and cannoli from the baker. We arrived in Schroon Lake, a town with only one grocery store, on a very December evening in 1969. I remember being amazed at how dark it was, the snow was was up my waist.
I am so very grateful for that brave decision they made, for it allowed me to still appreciate a good NY pizza, have an idyllic childhood spending every summer day at the public beach, and later in life, I came to appreciate the great outdoors while camping, kayaking, hiking.
So, that's how I penned this blogging name of mine "Brook2Adks". Brooklyn to Adirondacks, get it? Now, it would be most appropriate if my real name was really Brook, in fact, that would be very cool, But my parents didn't have that kind of foresight.
Just got back from a detox yoga class at Lemon Tree Yoga, so I'm hydrating today, drinking plenty of water, herbal tea appropriately named Shanti, and eating only fresh organic foods. The wind is howling out there to the point I'm worried about a pine tree landing on the roof, yet at the same time hopeful for a little power outage. Sometimes it's nice to have no hum of lightbulbs and appliances, lighting with candles and oil lamps, forcing me off electronics and relying on good old fashioned books. We are in for a cold snap the next few days. I'm cool with that. I don't go back to work for a few more days, I'm content to stay inside, going out for a walk later maybe.
I'm 49 years old. (yeah, the photo is a few years old, but it's an amazingly good photo of me! No sense having it just sit there in my photo album!) I'm a Mom to a son, he's a Special Forces Dude in the Army, although I prefer to think of him as some kind of GreenPeace Associate. I'm a practicing nurse working on my Bachelors, a Reiki practitioner, I practice yoga, and I love the Adirondacks. I love to cook, and prefer to eat what I've cooked myself. I hope to someday have a real garden. In the meantime I rely on Farmers Market in the summer. I don't laugh as often as I should, taking things a bit too seriously at times. I drive a big old SUV and often feel guilty because of that carbon footprint. Until I need to get to work on a day where there is 2 feet of snow. Or until I need to get all my camping gear and the kayak to some remote place with an incredible view. I'm a believer in the power of positive thinking, and while most people probably would think of me as optimistic, I can be very cynical and sarcastic, and sometimes even mean. I forgive myself for those things. I was raised as Catholic but haven't been to a church in a very long time.
So for now, this is my blog, let's see where it takes me.
This is a photo of the tea I'm enjoying. I get my tea @Sensibiliteas in Glens Falls NY @ The Shirt Factory. http://www.sensibiliteasonline.com/